The first challenge is that development cannot be ordered, it can only be enabled. You can 'order' your kid to be neat and tidy, but you cannot 'make it happen'. The only way you can make that happen is by 'enabling' it. Many parents forget this basic axiom of development in their kind hearted urgency of wanting their children to be the best. They keep on 'ordering' so many things that their 'orders' lose the sting. Children become experts in hearing it without doing anything.
But the second challenge is even more stiffer. Only a parent can understand what the child will need in the future, because they have a better idea of what a kid will go through and encounter. They have travelled the same path. For instance, a parent knows that not being able to share toys with friends will breed selfishness, or the habit of playing too much can distract children from studying. Many parents miss this challenge because they ignore the context of the child's situation. They forget children can negotiate the blocks when they cross the bridge, and that they were as 'selfish' as their children when they were young.
But the difficult challenge is the third one. Parents may know that sitting infront of a TV can retard the development of 'interaction skill', or the child's habit of 'stress management' is making him perform poorly in exams. Understanding what the child needs is however one half the job; the difficult part is to 'enable' the child see it and alter the behaviour accordingly. A child can neither understand what he needs in the future nor can appreciate the 'logic' of why he or she needs. How does a parent 'enable' the kid to change the behaviour in such a situation - is the toughest challenge. It is the challenge of living in the present, but preparing for the future.
We shall see how parents negotiate these three challenges of development in the ensuing days. Surprisingly, these same three challenges are also faced by a manager while developing his/her employees.Therefore, if you learn how to negotiate these three challenges, you will also benefit in your job.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
What to do after MBA?
I went to a MBA college in Delhi last month for a talk on my book " The five great myths of career building", published by Macmillan.
Most of the student's questions were about 'which job to take' after passing or what branch to specialise after the first year'.
This question is like trying to choose a chocolate to eat 'without tasting the chocolate'. Students neither have enough information about themselves nor have enough information about the jobs and the market to make the right choices. Static data about the latter can at least be collected, such as the difference between marketing job and sales job, or a difference between working for a share broking firm and a bank.
But very often this data is more confusing than revealing. For instance, one of the student ( let us call him Ashank) wanted to chose between two jobs: pre-sales job in a telecom division of a company visavis a sales job in a government division of the same company. His friends and conventional views suggested that 'telecom' is the domain to work in.
We sat and understood what Ashank's background is, what he has done well in the past and what objectives he currently wants to achieve from his jobs ( to get enough self information about him). Next we understood the information about the choices: what a job of pre-sales comprise vis-a-vis sales job, what lock-in exists in the two jobs in case the objectives change, what difficulties will he encounter in either of the jobs. Only after going through the both aspects of choices : self information and information about jobs was he in a position to 'commit' to one path.
More often than not it is not the decision that matters; what matters is the ability to commit to a path. That ability to commit to a path depends on what each path entails, what each path offers and what each path does not offer. Commitment is above all the ability to stick to the 'path' irrespective of the difficulties one will encounter on that path.
It is the 'process' of making a decision that helps one in making the necessary commitment. The process does not help in taking a 'right' decision, because such decisions cannot be evaluated as right or wrong. Instead the process helps in surfacing the hidden 'biases', the underlying beliefs, and uncover the blocks in one's commitment. In other words, the quality of the decision is determined by the 'process' one goes through, and not by someone guiding this way or that way.
Most of the student's questions were about 'which job to take' after passing or what branch to specialise after the first year'.
This question is like trying to choose a chocolate to eat 'without tasting the chocolate'. Students neither have enough information about themselves nor have enough information about the jobs and the market to make the right choices. Static data about the latter can at least be collected, such as the difference between marketing job and sales job, or a difference between working for a share broking firm and a bank.
But very often this data is more confusing than revealing. For instance, one of the student ( let us call him Ashank) wanted to chose between two jobs: pre-sales job in a telecom division of a company visavis a sales job in a government division of the same company. His friends and conventional views suggested that 'telecom' is the domain to work in.
We sat and understood what Ashank's background is, what he has done well in the past and what objectives he currently wants to achieve from his jobs ( to get enough self information about him). Next we understood the information about the choices: what a job of pre-sales comprise vis-a-vis sales job, what lock-in exists in the two jobs in case the objectives change, what difficulties will he encounter in either of the jobs. Only after going through the both aspects of choices : self information and information about jobs was he in a position to 'commit' to one path.
More often than not it is not the decision that matters; what matters is the ability to commit to a path. That ability to commit to a path depends on what each path entails, what each path offers and what each path does not offer. Commitment is above all the ability to stick to the 'path' irrespective of the difficulties one will encounter on that path.
It is the 'process' of making a decision that helps one in making the necessary commitment. The process does not help in taking a 'right' decision, because such decisions cannot be evaluated as right or wrong. Instead the process helps in surfacing the hidden 'biases', the underlying beliefs, and uncover the blocks in one's commitment. In other words, the quality of the decision is determined by the 'process' one goes through, and not by someone guiding this way or that way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)